Summer Rocks My Socks: Part 2 - Big Girl Thangs

This summer is not even to its halfway mark and is already full of all kinds of important milestones and accomplishments from all three of our girls.  It has been a bit of a whirlwind trying to keep up and adequately celebrate all the new skills the girls have acquired in the last month.  My babies are growing up and surpassing any and all expectations and dreams I have for them.  Here's some of the highlights of all the excitement that has been going on in our house this summer vacation:

Chuli Can Tie Her Own Shoes: I know that as a mother I am supposed to have undying faith in my children but Chuli's intense defiance and resistance to the mere suggestion that she even try tying her shoes had almost convinced me that she was going to have to wear slip-on Vans for the rest of her life. One morning last week she decided that she was going to try and lace up her Chucks by herself because I was busy putting on Rio's shoes and for whatever reason, the thing she convinced herself she could not do suddenly became possible!  It made me so happy to see her finally try and tie those shoes and prove to herself that she could do it, that it didn't even matter that her laces came untied 3 times from our house to her summer camp.   She is so proud to tell anyone that will listen that she can now tie up her own shoes and has been sure to pick out "shoes with ties" everyday since.  Those Vans are starting to look a little dusty... 

Justice Hits The Other Side Of River With Every Rock She Throws: Last summer on our yearly trip to the Russian River, Justice tried for an entire week to hit the other side of the river with a rock.  She was motivated by the $50 reward I offered should she be successful in her attempts, as well as her desire to have a better arm than her Papa.  On our last day at the river she managed to make enough contact with the other river bank to collect her reward but wasn't able to replicate the throw with any kind of consistency.  This year the first rock she launched hit the other side of the river feet behind the water line and 8 out 10 rocks thrown with even the slightest bit of effort have made it to the other side.  Good thing I'm not paying this year! 

Rio Uses The Potty: I don't know if it's her intense hatred of having her diaper changed, her fear of over-flowing landfills, or maybe because the rest of her family spends so much time sitting on the toilet that she has come to believe there is something magical that happens there, but at only 19 months Rio has started using the potty.  Not only does she ask to sit on the potty but she actually makes deposits, of the #1 and #2 kind.  And while we are still probably a long ways away from being able to call our 3rd born officially "Potty Trained" it is still pretty impressive.  And the decrease in our weekly diaper budget is a sweet added bonus.

Justice has started walking places alone: Next year Justice will be in middle school which means she has a new schedule that requires her to be at school a full hour earlier than her little sister.  Since I am not inclined to getting our entire family up and out the door and hour earlier than normal just to sit around the school yard for an hour until Chuli's classes start, Justice will have to get her butt to school on her own.  We only live 10 minutes and a straight shot away from the school and I walked the exact same route when I was her age but none-the-less Justice has been dreading this day since she first heard about it.  In order to combat the resistance to and fear that Justice has about getting places by herself, I have engaged Operation Solo Walk in full effect to turn this 11 year old into an independent, confident and fully-navigational machine by the time school starts.  She started in Puerto Viejo, Costa Rica making the 5 kilometer bike ride into town by herself  (a perfect starting point as there is exactly 1 street in the whole town and almost zero possibility of getting lost) and today Justice can walk herself to and from Band Practice (which is a mere 2 blocks from our house), to Trumpet Lessons (4 blocks away) and her grand finale, a full 5 blocks to Starbucks to get me my Chai Latte!  I have to say, this is definitely my favorite development yet!

It seems like all of the sunshine & water-play this Summer has made my kids into fully blooming Big Girls.  While it is easy to miss the snuggly baby stage, I have to say that I am really enjoying the increase in independence.  Even these small milestones give me a sneak-peek into the fierce, strong, confident women my girls are destined to become, and so far the future looks amazing.  I can't wait to see what these girls will accomplish in the next few months and I will be there at every moment with my camera phone in hand to make sure it all gets adequately publicized to the world!

Summer Rocks My Socks: Part 1 - The Family That Carnavals Together, Stays Together

Every year on the last Sunday of May at exactly 8am our block is filled with loud bass booms and fast paced beats streaming from the giant speakers mounted on the back of pick up trucks and flat beds parked at the corner.  This invasion of sound officially announces the start of San Francisco's Carnaval parade, an annual event which brings together over 60 contingents who fill the streets of The Mission with music, dancing & costumes celebrating traditional & contemporary artistic traditions & styles of The Americas & The Caribbean.  Considering that all of the contingents line up on the corner of our block we all quickly learned that our options were to either join in the festivities or spend every last Sunday of May whining & complaining about being woken up to some one's sound check.  So my family chose to dive into the Carnaval pool head first and now this event has become one of our families most important traditions.

The decision to become a Carnavalero and dedicate yourself to this annual event should not be taken lightly.  Carnaval can consume your body & soul (and not to mention bank account) so quickly it will leave your head spinning.  There are definitely moments when the amount of time, money and energy we put into this event seems a bit ridiculous.  When our family hasn't had a weekend off in 3 months because of rehearsals, when my hands are covered in burns from a glue gun, when there is a thick layer of glitter covering everything we own (including my kids!), when we are awake at 2:00am sewing feathers, tying rafia, or painting a float, "What the hell am I doing???" is a thought that runs across my mind with quite some frequency.  The reality is that participating in Carnaval is hard work, it is expensive, and from March until May our entire family gives up and sacrifices all other "non-carnaval" parts of our lives but here's why I wouldn't give it up for the world...

Being able to dance down the streets of my neighborhood to a soundtrack of high-energy drumming provided by my husband and daughters is such a powerful occurrence that could only be possible during SF Carnaval.  The energy that is generated by such a large group of people of all ages & backgrounds who are united in the single purpose of celebration, is so intense you can feel it vibrating in your bones.  For 4 hours you are surrounded by nothing but love and smiles and the the joy is so intense that it almost becomes a physical being.  It is such a privilege to be able to come together with our family, our friends & our community to create something that brings so much happiness to the world.  The images of Chuli shaking her booty down 24th Street, of Justice and her father standing side-by-side as they bang out a Samba rhythm and of my Mama and Rio dancing together are what make it all worth it.  It connects us to our streets, it opens the door to summer and it is probably the only activity that keep every single member of our family happy! 

I will continue to pour myself into SF Carnaval every year so that my family can have the opportunity to make music together, to dance together and to spread love into our community.  And that is definitely worth all the blood sweat and glitter!

La Familia Goes To Spring Training & Makes Papa's Dreams Come True

Our family has the most loving, giving, selfless, hardworking Papa ever.  He gives all of himself to making sure his family is happy and well taken care of.  Every year he works hard to take his girls to Disneyland where they can consume as much "magic" & "happiness" their little bodies & minds can contain, or to a tropical beach full of lazy days in the sun & sea that are essential to Mama's mental health, and on countless trips to the river where everyone can play, float and relax.  Of course he enjoys and is grateful for all of these family vacations but let's keep it real, when it comes to actually choosing our destination his role is pull out the credit card when needed and show up in the right place at the agreed-upon time.

This year it occurred to me that we should choose a Papa-themed vacation and let his heart's desires lead the way for once.  And of course, his heart pointed us in the direction of the SF Giants.  We touched down at the Phoenix airport at 10:30am on a Saturday morning and 2 hours later we were sitting 3 rows behind 1st base at Scottsdale Stadium watching Tim Lincecum throw out the first pitch of the Giants' Spring Training 2012.

our amazing seats for only $20!!!

The next 4 days of our lives were dedicated to nothing but San Francisco Giants baseball. We slept, ate, got dressed in our orange and black and spent all other minutes of our days at Scottsdale Stadium.  Justice had a blast collecting autographs and coming face-to-face with the players and coaches she has been cheering for from afar for the past 2 years.  She forgot to bring her baseballs to have signed to the first game so she improvised and had them sign her neon orange shoe which by the end of trip had signatures from Bruce Bochy, Jeremy Affeldt, Pat Burrell, Tommy Joseph, Brandon Belt and many others (once she started with the shoe there was no turning back)

Getting Bruce "Mr Big Stuff" Bochy's autograph

The 1st of many: Jeremy Affeldt

Even though  Chuli & Rio are still a little young to appreciate the mechanics of the game they found joy in the ball park snacks and lots of games of catch.

Chuli's Pre-Game Warm Ups

Enjoying their snow cones

As for Papa, it would be hard to pick what one thing was the best about this vacation.  He got to shake hands with John Miller aka "The Voice of The Giants" (who he has been listening to since he was a youngin'), catch a ball thrown to him by Melky Cabrera, personally say "thank you" to Brain Sabean for bringing his city a world championship, but most importantly he got to experience his most favorite pastime with his most favorite girls.  There is no brighter smile than the one Papa gets when he sees his girls getting pumped up about Giants baseball.  To have them find joy for something that has brought so much happiness into his own life makes him one extra proud Pop.  

Despite all of the exotic, international locations I have guided him to, I have a feeling that Scottsdale, AZ is going to make it to the top of his list of most amazing vacations.  As long as my family is smiling and the sun is shinning I guess even Mama can be convinced to return to this much desired destination.  

One thing's for sure, with the souvenir Papa took home from this trip we will be reminded of our Spring Training trip every day of our lives:

World Champion Ink By Clifton Carter, Living Ghost Tattoo

Play Ball Like A Girl

My girls play Baseball.  Not Softball.  Hardball-smallball-underhand pitching-baseball.  They didn't much have a choice about it since they were born to a Papa who is a player, coach and super-fan of the game.  The first articles of clothing they all had placed on their bodies were emblazoned with the SF Giants logos and they all spent their first years falling asleep to the tune of "Take Me Out To The Ball Game" coming from their Giant's baby-mobile.  There were always baseballs of all different sizes and materials in our house for them to throw and what kid doesn't love whacking things with a bat?  So yes, maybe they weren't given much of choice about what sport they would play, but they definitely haven't gone into it kicking and screaming.

The immense amount of games the girls have been dragged to or forced to watch (which all have  included in-depth running commentary from their Papa about what the players were doing right or wrong) along with Papa's willingness to drop anything and everything to play ball with his girls, have left them with some pretty impressive baseball skills.  Chuli's got a throw that will leave your hand stinging and is not afraid to get as down and dirty as her fav player Buster Posey, and Justice can field like a champ and make some serious contact with the ball.
As they have gotten older and have been able to take their game outside our backyard and beyond their Papa's lessons, we have asked ourselves more than a few times if they should switch over to play softball. **Let me stop here to make something clear: in no way do I feel like softball is any less of a sport than baseball.  Softball players are dope, amazing and just as athletic, if not more, as any baseball player** We are aware that for a girl, the opportunities to play baseball on a pro, college or even a high school level are minimal at best and that if our girls do indeed have some talent with the bat and ball then putting it to use on a softball field would present an easier and more abundant road for them.
As softball players they would have access to more teams, possible scholarships and even a potential career.  Women's Softball is a Olympic sport while Women's Pro-Baseball is limited to a few years of playing in skirts and one famous Hollywood movie that taught us all that "there's no crying in baseball!"  As female baseball players their paths would be filled with dead ends, closed doors and a whole lot of ignorance.  At only 10 years old Justice came face-to-face with the misogyny of the sports world when she was introduced to the middle school baseball coach of her future school who when told that she was a ball player offered her the position of "scorekeeper" on his team.  If this type of narrow-mindedness exists in elementary aged sports when there is little-to-no physical differences between the boys & girls, I shudder to think about what type of discrimination my girls would face if they got into to playing more serious ball.

I can get myself worked up into a nice sized furry when I reflect on the fact that as parents of girls we have to spend so much time considering re-directing our daughters away from something that brings them so much joy because of our desire to keep our babies protected from hardships and hurt that may lie ahead of them. It is utterly ridiculous to think that anyone would place restrictions or limitations on the potential of my 6 year old child based solely on her lack of a Y chromosome.  Although it comes from a place of wanting to protect my girls from discrimination, ignorance and negativity, each time I consider making the switch over to softball simply because somehow society decided that girls can't play professional baseball, I feel horrible.  I want to instill the belief in my girls that they can do or be anything they can possibly imagine.
It was not so long ago that the thought that a girl could grow up to go to college, have a job, or even vote was considered crazy.  There were families and communities of some little girls in that time that told them yes when everyone else around them was saying no and helped clear the way for all future generations of little girls.  Someone always has to be the first.
After all, if we all pull our little girls out of baseball, how can we ever expect them to grow up with the skills to strike out all these boys and knock their balls out of the park?

I Just Spent $70 on a Justin Bieber Birthday Cake

Oh, yes I did.  My credit card has been charged for $70 worth of chocolate fudge, whipped cream Bieber Fever goodness.  I will admit that right after placing my order, I was hit by a huge sense of buyers remorse as I realized that I, a 32 year old woman just spent that much money on a damn birthday cake!  The feeling only got worse as it started to sink in that addition to my hard earned money and besides the fact that I have both a household and an organization to run, I had just spent 20 minutes of my very busy life searching the Internet for the perfect picture of little Mr. Bieber and working with the bakery to design the most Bieber-est cake possible.

But you know what?  It might seem that there are far more important and world-changing things I could have spend my 20 minutes and $70 on but the reality is that when March 5 rolls around each year, there is without-a-doubt, absolutely nothing more important than celebrating my Chuli girl!  This year, if it's a Justin Bieber Roller Disco that makes my girl happy, then she will have the most amazing Justin Bieber Roller Disco the world has ever seen.  In Mama's eyes, for all of the love, joy and laughter this girl has brought this world during her 6th year of life she deserves the world's biggest birthday cake with the real life Biebs jumping out of it.  And even though I cringe a little as I fill up my shopping basket with every item they can fit his dreamy little teenage face on to, I know that the honest truth is I will continue to be the Bierber-Empire's #1 supporter as long as it continues to put a smile on Chuli's face...let's just all say a silent prayer that this phase passes a little sooner than later because the new life-sized JB cardboard cut-out that now lives in my living room is not exactly my favorite piece of household decor...

Ocuppied With Children

I have been completely amazed and inspired by the Occupy Wall Street movement and the Occupy Protests that have gone down in solidarity in other cities and countries.  The fact that people in this country are finally fed up with the ridiculously unequal distribution of wealth and resources and are realizing that if we are united the power can truly be with the people, is something I was almost convinced I would not get to witness in my lifetime.  I am humbled by those folks who have given up the comforts of their daily lives because they are so passionate about the need for change in our country.
Being socially responsible and standing up for justice and equality for all people are virtues that were installed in me by my own parents and are definitely some of the most important qualities I hope to pass on to my own girls.  The Occupy protests have stirred up intense emotions and internal conflict for me as I am torn between my desire to be an active participant in this movement and my responsibilities to my family.
How can I join in the protests when I have to pick up the girls from school?  How can I march in the streets when I have to take them to dance class, trumpet lessons and band practice?  As vital as these daily actions are, lately I have had to fight back feelings of guilt for conducting business as usual during these intense and volatile times.  But I have to ask myself if leaving my kids to join the protests is truly going to make the world a better place?  On one hand I want to set a good example for them, I want them to see their mama taking a stand against injustice so that they will grow up believing that they should always do something when there is a wrong being committed.  But on the other hand, I want to provide my girls with opportunities, support, caring and attention each day of their lives so that they grow up feeling safe, secure and loved.  Will more positive change come to the world from me joining the protesters to help intensify the strength of the 99% or from raising 3 confident, educated, happy girls?
I remember reading the biography of Ernesto "Che' Guevara, and learning that he left his kids when they were very young to continue to fight for revolutions in other countries.  He felt so strongly about changing the world that he was willing to give up being a father and raising his children (which seems to be a choice the majority of history's successful revolutionaries have had to make).  Did the impact he had on changing international laws, policies & social structures actually provide more for his children than anything he could have given them by staying at home with them?  Is it the seemingly small daily actions that truly have more profound impact than the large scale ones?  Can being there to tuck your kids into bed every night be a revolutionary act?  Is it even possible for someone to be both a parent and a revolutionary or does one have to give up one for the other?
Deep down I do believe that being present everyday of my kids' lives will have a profound impact on their healthy development but even if we are "Super Parents" our girls will never be able to lead truly successful and joyful lives if there continues to be such immense injustices and inequalities outside of our front door.  How bad does it have to get for other people's children before I am willing to sacrifice my relationship with my own children?  Maybe the key to ending all of this disparity and conflict is for the world to learn to love and care for everybody elses' children as deeply and unconditionally as we feel for our own.
At least then I would know someone was tucking my girls into bed while I was out Occupying...

Daycare Blues: The Most Horrible Day of Rio's Life

Tomorrow at around 9:30am, my heart will be broken.  I am taking Rio to spend the morning at her new daycare where, starting in January when I return to working full time, she will be spending all day Monday-Friday.  The first day of daycare drop-off is a special kind of torture of an especially brutal kind.  I have gone through this exact scenario twice before but contrary to popular belief: IT DOES NOT GET ANY EASIER!  In fact, this time feels the worst of all...
Maybe it's because I know exactly what's coming to me.  There is no doubt in my mind that she will cry hysterically when I try to walk out of the room and I will physically have to unattach her from my body.  She has spent everyday of her entire life with me and she loves her Mama something fierce.  The first couple of months of her life she didn't even like being with her own Papa and it is only recently that she will calmly go to and stay with her Grandmas who live upstairs.  Now I am going to leave her alone with a complete stranger in a brand new place.  She is going to be miserable.
I am fully aware of what a blessing I received to be able to stay home with her for an entire year, which is the longest I stayed with any of the girls.  Maybe being with Rio for so long is why this round of daycare drop-off feels like the most painful ever.  We have had a blast.  I have deeply loved every minute of getting to play with her, cuddle her and care for her and honestly I am going to miss her even more than she will miss me.
It's only for 3 hours and she won't be able to remember it when she is older, but tomorrow will be one of the most monumental experiences of her life.  It is the moment when I send her out into the big, bad, beautiful world.  It will be her first bond and relationship that she forms with a person completely on her own.  She will learn all kinds of social norms and lessons and start to develop solid pieces of her identity.  I know in my hearts of hearts that me going to back to work and Rio going to daycare is truly what is best for her, for myself and for our entire family.  At 1 year old, her attachment to me is heartwarming and adorable but later in her life, that same attachment can very easily turn annoying and impeding.  Even though turning my back and walking away from the love of my life when she is in extreme distress goes against every fiber of my being, I know that having to do hard and painful things for the sake of my family is what earns me the coveted title of "Mama".  Hey, both Justice and Chuli flipped out on me the first day (or week, or month!) I left them at daycare, and now I am lucky if I can get a hurried good-bye from them as they leave me in the dust when they run into school.
Tomorrow morning will be rough.  I won't be able to cry and scream hysterically and I won't have someone to hold me and try everything they can to make me feel better but I can guarantee I will shed some serious tears and spend some time feeling like the most horrible Mama on the planet.  I can only hope that the incredible amount of work I am able to accomplish when I have no little ones demanding my attention will help cushion the blow a little.  That, and that these 3 hours past by quicker that any 3 hours in the history of time!