My Baby's 1st School Dance

As I write this my biggest baby is attending her 1st school dance.  The school hosted a Halloween Dance earlier this year but she was unable to attend because she was too busy riding on a float in the San Francisco Giants World Series Champion parade (good girl!).  But unfortunately for me there was no parade today to keep her from her away from this dance...So, here I sit conflicted - with my mama-bear instincts engaged in a heated battle with my brain.

I got an email last week that the school was looking for parent volunteers to chaperon and I got super excited about the possibility of being able to to witness the behavior of my tweener in her natural habitat, but as I was getting ready to reply to that email, the little angel popped on my shoulder and got all up in my ear about how being at the dance would be detrimental to Justice's ability to develop a strong sense of self and identity.  I ultimately decided against chaperoning because my desire to have her become more independent and confident outweighs my desire to be all up in her business.  Most parents of 12 year olds are scared of their babies growing up and experiencing all of the sex, drugs and rock n' roll that are associated with becoming an adolescent.  While, I'll admit that I shudder at the thought of my little girl twerking it on the dance floor, I think what scares me the most is that she will never get to experience the things that keep parents up at night.  Let's face it, our mistakes and stupid decisions are what make us interesting, and a person whose never gotten into a little trouble is just plain boring.  The ultimate outcome is to raise my children to be healthy, responsible, independent, happy adults and that means having to  give them the space to express their little pre-pubescent urges away from the watchful eyes of their parents. Because, keep it real, if I was at that dance tonight and saw my child or any child in a 10ft radius of my child acting foolish, I would break every rule in the "cool-mama" handbook.
Sometimes being the best mama means Backing-The-F-up.
I sure as heck know that some of my fondest memories of my child/teen-hood took place at my middle school dances and while I probably wouldn't approve of my daughter behaving the way I did  I can also accept that denying her the opportunity to behave the way I did would be the real danger.  Isn't that so evolved of me?  I better enjoy this moment of self-riotousness because I can't guarantee I can maintain it for anything more intense than a middle school dance...

From Vegas To The Velveteen Rabbit

The hubby and I took the plunge and made our first trip to Las Vegas last week.  It was 3 nights and 4 days full of alcohol, gambling, money-spending, late nights, sleeping in and most importantly: NO KIDS! This marked the first time the hubby and I have left the 3 girls and had a vacation of our own. Work and school has been, at best, ridiculous and we have all been running on fumes trying to keep our lives together, so needless today this getaway was just what the doctor ordered.  Highlights of our Viva Las Vegas experience included: our first crack at gambling and getting the chance to put-your-money-where-your-mouth-is and bet on our SF Giants who won us $86 by beating the Reds (the random amount of $ is due to my very superstitious Hubby who bet $22 in honor of his childhood favorite Will "The Thrill" Clark), staying out at the club until 4am and not caring since we could sleep until noon the next day, filling our bodies with all sorts of toxins and not having to apologize, excuse or defend any of it, and finally having the chance to wear all of the non-kid friendly, hoochie clothes that have been just sitting in my closet after late night, impulse online shopping sprees (including my Alice & Olivia navy blue-glitter jumpsuit, woot-woot!)

 

Okay, so while this story of a Mama & Papa letting loose in Vegas is far from original, the events that occurred within an hour of our return to SF are utterly unique to our crazy life. The week before our Vegas trip, Chuli auditioned to be a part of the children's chorus for ODC/Dance's Velveteen Rabbit show. Each year ODC/Dance presents this holiday dance production starting the amazingly talented ODC dance company who are accompanied by twenty adorable 6-12 year old budding performers and students of the ODC School. Big sister Justice had the opportunity to be part of the show for 3 years and Chuli is taking up the tradition for the first time this year. The first rehearsal of the children's chorus was Saturday at 3:30pm and our flight back from Vegas landed at 3:00pm. Grandma was all set to take Chuli to rehearsal and attend the parent orientation meeting to gather all the important details but we pulled up to the house just as they were leaving so I made the decision to take Chuli over to rehearsal myself. I hadn't had to be a Mama for 3 days and figured it made more sense for me to be there personally to collect the important info. This last minute decision landed me in the middle of a room full of stage parents being bombarded with questions after I was nominated to be the "lead parent" for Chuli's cast a mere 30 minutes after touching down in SF. Lucky for me, it was a sunny day and a bright room so I could keep my Ray-bans on without looking suspicious. Little did they know that underneath my aviators was a pair of bloodshot, sleepy eyes, connected to a very cloudy brain. I wonder if they all would have been so quick to seek out my wisdom and insights had they known that just a few hours prior I was dancing the night away with a drink in hand in my high heels and skin-tight dress?

Such is the contradiction of being a young Mama trying to maintain some remnants of a life and identity not connected to my kids. At the end of the day the girls are safe and sound, Mama & Papa had a blast and get to return to all our responsibilities decompressed and rejuvenated, and Chuli will blow us away as she struts her stuff on stage.
It looks like as long as I have generous Grandmas, adventurous friends, my Ray-bans and a little bit of Advil on hand; I might really be able to have it all